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The Most Interesting Man in the World

August 10, 2015

He has never lost a game of chance.

The guy who plays this character in the Dos Equis commercials is an actor from New York City named Jonathan Goldsmith.  He does a nice job in the role, but the most interesting man in the world is really… Chuck Schumer.

No kidding. He’s certainly the most interesting and influential man in U.S. politics today.

…Presidents take his birthday off.

This particular moment – with the Iran nuke deal – will be written about in history books, but the historians won’t get it any more right than media commentators. That’s because, with Chuck, there’s always more than meets the eye. Always. But nobody seems to get that – especially people like Michael Goodwin and others who are just looking for validation of their own opinions.

Digression: What happened to Goodwin? Was he a closet Republican at the Times and Daily News? Or did he just adopt that persona when he went to work at the Post and Fox News?

Back to Chuck and the nuances.  Chuck’s words were clear enough – he said it was a bad deal and he wasn’t going to support it. Goodwin and the Fox News types nearly soiled themselves with joy over this, but, hello, what else did Chuck do?

He did an extraordinary thing. He stood down in terms of working against the deal. And when a legislative leader of his consummateskill in marshaling votes for and against initiatives is on the sidelines during a fight, it’s significant.

Think about that one. If Chuck had bought into anti-Obama mania, if he was convinced that the deal was truly going to undermine national security, if he believed that Israel’s very existence was threatened, he wouldn’t have said: “I’m going to vote against this deal, but I’m not going to ask others to join me in opposition.”

No. There’d be zero logic to that. You can’t believe the deal is selling out Israel and the trigger to Armageddon and not dedicate yourself to defeating it.  If you believe the deal is bad, you must work to defeat it.

Is he doing that? Far from it. Kirstin Gillibrand came out in favor of the deal at the same time Chuck was expressing his opposition. And that didn’t just happen, did it?

We all know Gillibrand doesn’t go against Chuck on major issues. Some people say that she’s Chuck’s “ward” in the Senate, but that’s simplistic and demeaning of her to say it that way. The nicer way is to say that she has a strategic partnership with Chuck.

A strategic partnership with Chuck? That’s like saying: “When in Rome, they do what he does.”

Chuck is TMIMITW. Truly. And yet, for some bizarre reason, there’s virtually no media scrutiny of him. Oh, there are headlines, which he writes himself. There’s just no digging. No probing. No real analysis.

When is the last time anyone profiled him? Can anybody remember a meaningful Times’ takeout? What about a book? Why are there multiple books on Andrew Cuomo and none on Chuck?

Just think of the chapters in a Schumer book:

What exactly was Chuck’s relationship with Spitzer? And what was his relationship with the people who brought Spitzer down?

What did Chuck say when Preet asked for his advice on the Moreland matter?

What did Chuck say to David Paterson when Paterson was thinking about appointing Caroline Kennedy?

Who recommended that exercise machine to Harry Reid?

When he goes to Spain, the bulls run from him.

Why do we know so nauseatingly much about Andrew and Mario, Andrew and Kerry, Andrew and Sandra, and Andrew and Mayor Bill and comparatively nothing about Chuck and his relationships?

Again, the ink Chuck generates is prodigious, but it’s all self-manufactured.

Who is this man? Really now, who is he?

He scored a perfect 1,600 on his SAT. (He thought he made a mistake once, but he was wrong.) He aced Harvard and Harvard Law. At 22, he became the youngest member of the state legislature in history. And at 28, he was elected to the Congress…

If opportunity knocks and he’s not at home, opportunity waits.

Here’s something absolutely stunning to us:  In four decades in public office, there’s never been a single disgruntled Schumer staffer. Not one. And how can that be? He’s employed hundreds of people, and none have left and said anything but: “I learned so much from him.”

Come on now, how can that be? Say that he’s brilliant, say he’s a decent, dedicated public servant – and he is. But how is it that nobody from the inside has ever so much as told a joke about him?

… If he was to pat you on your back, you’d list it on your resume.

It’s the stuff of modern day legend, isn’t it?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    August 10, 2015 12:54 PM

    A few years back, the Washington Times did an analysis of “the Best and Worst Bosses on Capitol Hill.” Schumer had a relatively high staff turnover rate. Does that mean he’s a bad boss? Not necessarily. In fact, Schumer seems to take care of his people after they leave. He’s always helping them. That’s a part of it.

  2. mark keister permalink
    August 10, 2015 7:12 PM

    Bravo!

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