About Those Lady Bugs
The scribe had wanted to write another silly Friday post. This one would have been in the form of a news release from Chuck Schumer. The senator was calling for action to address the problem of swarming lady bugs.
But a senior member of the group protested saying: “I don’t think people get our humor.”
The scribe then paraphrased a famous poet: “A blog post must resist the intelligence – almost successfully.”
The member said: “Yes, but it’s frustrating for readers.”
The scribe said: “Frustrating? We write about state government. What could be more frustrating than that? We write for political junkies for whom frustration is a given.”
The senior member then opined: “Why don’t you write about Schumer and try to go beyond the fact that he’s famous for doing stupid news conferences? Everybody knows he can be the Andy Rooney of politics. He’ll call a news conference to bitch about whatever annoys him. Why don’t you explain why he does it? It’s because he spends most of his time on national politics and is actually a major player in running the nation, but he also needs to let people back home know that he hasn’t forgotten them and that no issue is too small for him if it helps constituents. His Sunday news conferences are symbolism. And why don’t you write that as stupid and as goofy as it is – it works. You don’t see the liberal wing of the Democratic Party crapping on him like they do Cuomo. Schumer is the patron Saint of the 1 percent, but nobody is on his case. Schumer has no Zephyr Teachout or Billy Easton on his ass. The fracktivists aren’t complaining that Schumer has promoted fracking nationwide and has solicited millions from the industry. Nobody is whiter than Chuck, but Bertha Lewis isn’t on his case. Why is that? Why have the lefties worked themselves up about Cuomo – the most successful Democratic governor in generations, but they say nothing at all about a figure who arguably could do more to address their problems and issues? How is it that they are clueless to the fact that Chuck seizes on few consumer issues and uses them to deflect attention from the fact he’s the most corporate pol there is? Are the lefties completely clueless to that? Are they really so stupid that a few dorky news conferences and faux populism will sway them? How can that be? Why is that so? And furthermore, how does Chuck get away with it with the media? He’s had 42 press secretaries putting out this shit and they aren’t laughed at. In fact, they’ve all graduated and gone on to seed the political world. What’s that about? Why don’t you write all of that? Just once I’d like to see it in print somewhere. Do it for me, please. Then you can write about those lady bugs.”