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“Issue Number One”

August 4, 2014

We have John McLaughlin in our head. You know, the TV personality who once was a Jesuit and speechwriter for Nixon. He’s Mr. Conservative, the host of the McLaughlin Group which is still running on some PBS stations.

In the 80s, comedian Dana Carvey would do hilarious skits in which he impersonated McLaughlin and fired off insane questions to guests in a booming voice.

We channel Carvey channeling McLaughlin:

Issue Number One: Preet Bahrara. On a scale of zero to ten — with zero representing zero possibility and ten representing metaphysical certitude — what is the chance of Bahrara making a case against either Andrew Cuomo or members of his administration?

NT2: John, the answer is zero. This is an unprecedented intervention by a U.S. attorney into state politics. He has no jurisdiction. He has no legal theory of intervention. He has no fact pattern that in any way speaks to a wrongdoing of any kind — let alone a federal crime.

McLaughlin: Wrong! This Cuomo thing stinks to high heaven. Cuomo hatchet man Larry Schwartz has bloody hands. He sunk his “get along, go-along” blade into investigations that would have revealed federal crimes by lawmakers. Respond to that, NT2.

NT2: The so-called “Moreland panel” was off the rails. It was an executive commission cavalierly walking into a constitutional intersection. The executive can’t investigate the legislative branch. It can’t subpoena personal bank records of lawmakers — but that’s exactly what it was doing. Such actions threatened the budget and the conclusion of the legislative session. Pulling the plug on the commission was necessary.

McLaughlin: Wrong! This was Cuomo at his macho-vellian worst. He created the panel to pressure lawmakers into passing reforms. But the reforms he got were sickeningly weak. And then he turned out to be the lawmakers best friend, their protector, the wiper of their dirty behinds. Respond, NT2.

NT2: He obstructed nothing. He protected no one. All of the case files and the notes to the investigations were forwarded to proper authorities. He wasn’t saying don’t prosecute wrongdoing; he was only saying that a gubernatorial panel isn’t the right entity to do it. As long as all the evidence was forwarded and nothing was swept under the rug, there is no controversy at all

McLaughlin: You’ve drunk the Cuomo Kool-Aid and will now drown in a pool of your apologist vomit. Cuomo is cooked and Kick Astorino will rule your state. Cuomo will be brought down by another scheming hyper-political prosecutor, which is poetic justice for him!

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